Tag Archives: naiad

I’m not dead, I promise!

But I am just coming out of an extended, serious depression.  It started in April.  I didn’t get online for three months except to read fanfic.  (BBC Sherlock is my imaginary boyfriend.)  Hell, I didn’t even talk to my mother for two months, and she’s one of my two favorite people in the whole world (the other being the Valkyrie).  I was a wreck.  I started feeling a bit better a couple of weeks ago, but yesterday my doctor had me add Ritalin to my daily medication cocktail and I’ve actually gotten out of bed.  Better living through modern medicine!

So this post is going to be a rather long life update…

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Happy birthday, Isaac Newton!

Bad blogger, no cookie — ten days since my last entry.  Shame on me.  I’ve been journaling a lot, but it’s been on paper instead of online.

My family has always done Christmas stuff on Xmas Eve, and then Xmas day is for laying around in pajamas and nomming leftovers. So yesterday we ate too much and opened presents. I picked out most of the presents people gave each other as well as the ones I gave, so I really enjoyed seeing everyone open the gifts I’d chosen for them.  I was pretty much on target with all of them, assuming my family members are better at faking emotions than I think they are.  I received some cool shit.  A Pilot Metropolitan fountain pen, a sweet Golding mini spindle, some fascinating-looking books, and some little stuff, all of which I liked a lot.

I won’t list everything I chose for other people, but I had to mention that I got the Naiad a Pilot Kukuno from JetPens and I think she’s now hooked for life on fountain pens.  While I was napping earlier today she ordered herself a Metropolitan like my new one, because she likes mine so much.  (I am so happy with mine, btw.  Writes wonderfully and has instantly become a favorite.)  This weekend I’m going to ink up some of my pen collections so she can see what different styles and nibs feel like.  She’s very excited.  Makes me happy.

Random stuff:

  • Got a B+ in my class.  Must have done better on my mock therapy session than I thought!
  • The Naiad will be here permanently Jan. 6th.  Which is good, because driving to get her twice a week sucks.
  • Awesome Niece was here from Sunday to yesterday.  Goddamn I love that kid.  She’s turning into an amazing young woman.
  • I started a new medication today.  Risperdal is replacing my Invega.  Doing the titration now.  Wish me luck.
  • The pocket Moleskine I started journaling in on Nov. 11th is nearly full.  I’ll be starting a new one in a few days.  Looking forward to it.  I also treated myself to a Moleskine 2015 weekly planner, because things disappear from my iCloud calendar on a regular basis.  That’s a problem.  So the Moleskine will be a backup calendar. I need one.

I’ve been sleepy all day because of the new medication.  Bedtime soon, I think…

Thanksgiving and after

I didn’t blog about Thanksgiving.  It was amazing.  The Valkyrie, the Naiad, my MIL, my mom, my sis, her husband and two kids,my BFF, BFF’s niece, MIL’s German friend, and the German friend’s son.  The son was an ass, but kept to himself.  The rest of us had a blast.  MIL cooked a bunch, and my mom, sis,and BFF all brought homemade food.  We had a dozen dishes plus five pies.  TONS of food.  We did it buffet style.  The only problem was that the dining room table wasn’t big enough for all of us, and the Valkyrie and the Naiad wound up alone at the kitchen table.  It made me sad, but then Awesome Niece went to join them, and other people started wandering over there once they were done eating.  At one point we were all in the living room carrying on, and then Mom, Sis, and I played a couple of hands of gin rummy (the game we used to play when Sis and I was children).  Nephew wanted to play a hand of Go Fish, so we did that too.  Can you believe I’d forgotten the rules?  But, then, I think I was nine the last time I played Go Fish.  So I think I can be forgiven.

The Naiad is here every weekend, now.  I enjoy going to pick her up.  I’ve been going alone because the cheapest (no tolls) way to get to her house is a bumpy road that would kill the Valkyrie’s back.  I don’t mind, though, because she and I get to chat for more than an hour each trip.  We’re becoming quite good friends, I think.  We have shared interests in psychology and writing instruments, and of course we have the Valkyrie in common.  Mostly we talk about trans stuff and books and psychology.  It’s awesome.  I picked her up last night and we talked mostly about HRT on the way home.  And neuroscience versus philosophy on the concept of mind.  And office supplies.  And how if I get my libido back on T we’re going to bang.  She’s awfully cute, and apparently likes oversized girly men.  Oh, myyyyy.

Because of the depression and accompanying apathy I’m 6 days late turning in my paper.  I’m trying really hard to give a fuck.  I’m hoping to finish it today so it’s not a whole week late.  Ever since I finished my last blog post I’ve been staring at my OpenOffice window, trying to figure out where to go next given what I’ve written so far.  It shouldn’t be hard.  I’m good at writing papers.  I once wrote an 8-page paper using dictation software while holding a sleeping cat, and I got an A on that.  Churning out a simple 3-6 page paper should be nothing.

My prof wants me to take my final class in person with her during the second spring semester, instead of taking it online in January.  I’m thinking about it.  Plus that would give me time to get on T and have my hysto.  I like the prof, and I really miss the classroom environment.  Online-only classes fucking suck.  I think my education has suffered because most of my 3rd and 4th year classes have been online.  I’ve learned a lot, but I prefer being in a classroom.

Okay, time to get back to my paper!

First weekend with the Naiad

The Naiad stayed all weekend.  It was really fun, the three of us just lounging around the den, playing video games and talking.  She’s very sweet.  Even MIL really likes her, and said so to my best friend (who usually gets the unvarnished truths and not the polite comments she gives me).  There were also a lot of sexytimes for the Valkyrie and Naiad, some of which was done in front of me (much to my delight).

I had a couple of small freakouts, but the Naiad was not phased in the slightest.  The Valkyrie got upset at something (for good reason) and again N was fine.  And V and I had a minor quibble and N was shocked that that’s the extent of V’s and my arguing.  She’s used to lots of screaming and drama.  It was kind of sad, how very grateful she is for every little kindness we show her.  I used to be like that, after four years with my abusive ex.  Poor girl.  She’s this weird combination of brassy no-nonsense intellectual who can tear apart any argument, and scared naive girl.  I just want to hug her forever.

Sexytimes!  The Naiad apparently fancies me a little.  I’m not sure what to do about it.  I can’t have sex without a shirt on because of dysphoria, and I’m not sure what I want to do with/to/for her.  So I’m happy just watching them play around, for now.  They’re very, very sexy together.  Two pretty trans girls, both of whom are very kinky and like showing off.  Oh, poor me, having to be around them.  Hahaha.  Although Saturday I felt like crap for a little while, and I fell asleep next to the two of them when they were getting it on.  Very sad.

I had to drive N home at 5:30 this morning.  I am so tired.  And I probably gained 5 pounds today because of that damn Russell Stover outlet I posted about earlier.  I want to sleep, but I still have to go back out to the pharmacy.  *yawn*

Second date!

I didn’t get much sleep because of driving the Naiad home at 5:30 this morning (*yawn*), and I was sick this weekend, but yesterday and this morning were awesome.  The Naiad spent the night in the guest apartment with the Valkyrie, although the three of us hung out a bunch too.  She is SO NICE.  And she’s coming out of an abusive relationship and is so timid and I want to scoop her up and save her from the universe.  And then shower her with presents because she has a beautiful smile and she deserves happiness.  She’s totes adorbs.  And I think she may be smarter than me, which is slightly intimidating but also makes her more interesting.  She has a razor-sharp wit and a scientific mind and I maybe have a little bit of a crush on her myself. *blush*

My MIL is a little confused about the whole thing.  She keeps asking me if I’m okay with it, and this morning I was all, “They’re just so CUTE together!” and she did the confused head tilt.  But she loves rescuing strays, be they people or kittens, and she wants the Naiad to be safe and happy, although she says that if the V&N relationship ever starts breaking my heart they’re dead women.  MIL is very protective of me and loves me like I’m her own, which is really sweet and I’m grateful for it.  But I suspect everything is going to work out well, considering that MIL is nagging her to get out of her current situation and come live with us immediately.  (The Naiad is remaining in her emotionally abusive ex’s home until January when the ex can afford child care, which is honorable but dangerous to N’s mental health.  She works from home, so she minds the kids before and after school.)

I have homework to do.  Later, internets!

First date

The Valkyrie went out on her first IRL date with her internet girlfriend today.  Hmmmm, I need a moniker for the girlfriend.  I think I’ll call her the Naiad.  Neither of them drive, V because of her disability and N because she doesn’t know how yet.  (We will be teaching her soon, though.)  So I chauffeured.  V and I picked her up (she lives an hour from us) and went to Panera Bread for lunch.  I sat on the other side of the restaurant to give them some privacy, which was fine with me.  I read my book and enjoyed my food.  Every so often I’d glance over to see them deep in conversation, big smiles on their faces, and it made me so happy.  The Naiad is really easy to get along with, and she gives good hugs, and I think the Valkyrie has good taste in partners (ahem).

Because we couldn’t go back to her place for reasons, we found a semi-secluded spot to park the car so they could make out.  This led to the hilarious yet very sexy scene in which I was in the front seat playing lookout while two pretty girls got to third base in the backseat.  Eventually there started to be people in the area, so they fixed their clothes and I drove around aimlessly for 45 minutes while they snuggled, made out, and cooed to each other.  It was so fucking adorable.  Sadly, she had to be home at a certain time, so when we dropped her off there was much kissing and angst over parting.

The Valkyrie has been on cloud nine all day, and to be honest I’ve been around cloud seven myself.  Seeing my girl so happy makes me happy, and the two of them together are sweet and sexy and it was really comfortable.  I didn’t think I’d be jealous, and I was relieved that there was no trace of it.  Just delight for the Valkyrie’s romantic bliss.  I’ve been poly since I was a teenager, but it’s never felt so right as it did today.

I have to go to her town for a meeting on Saturday morning.  I might be picking her up and bringing her home for the weekend, if she can get the scheduling right.  At any rate, I hope she can stay over soonish.  We have a guest apartment, and the lovebirds could use some alone time.  <3