Tag Archives: divorce

Happy Halloween!

Today would have been my 12th wedding anniversary.  Yay for being divorced!

It’s funny — I’m a goth and I love morbid, creepy, and spooky things, but actual scary shit really bothers me.  Some horror fiction is okay, and often enjoyable.  Movies, not so much.  I think the only horror genre films I really like are some of the Hellraiser series, especially the original, because Clive Barker is so good at eroticizing horror and I love that.  (I’m a huge fan of his books, too, and have been since the late 80’s.)  No, wait, I like some zombie stuff too.  And anything with Bruce Campbell in it.  Okay, some movies are decent.  Just not really scary ones.

Horror video games upset me, but mostly because my ex insisted on making me watch her play Fatal Frame and stuff when I really didn’t want to.  I liked some Silent Hill and Resident Evil, but only in small doses and only in daylight hours.  (So of course she insisted on all-night marathons with the lights turned off, and laughed when I got so scared I begged to be allowed to leave the room.  Because apparently I’m “cute” when I’m scared.  You know, the more I look back on my relationship, the more I realize how fucked-up it was.)

So I will spend this evening watching the new Ghostbusters, rewatching Nightmare Before Christmas, and cleaning off my yarn bins so I can put my new resin vulture skeleton on the silver platter with the painted zombie head and the black roses.  Because spooky is fun, even if I’m a giant chicken otherwise.

Divorced and cycling

On Tuesday, Sept. 6th, 2016, at 9:15am, I became a single person again.  So, so glad.  My ex was upset because her mom, my mom, and I were chatting happily while we waited for our turn before the judge.  We were making plans to see one another, gabbing about family and stuff, and completely ignoring Ex.  My ex-MIL likes me better than she likes her own child.  I should feel bad about that, but I don’t.

The day after, I went down to the local bike shop my sister likes, Bikes and More.  I’ve been eyeing a new bike for a while now.  I had a GT Aggressor hybrid and hated it, so I didn’t ride it for years.  At the shop I ordered a 2017 Raleigh Circa 1.

Circa 1 manufacturers photo

Circa 1 manufacturers photo

I picked it up yesterday.  The salesperson took me on a short ride to test my settings.  Several adjustments later, I was good to go.  It’s weird to not have my butt on the seat when I’m stopping and starting, but I’m getting the hang of doing it the right way.

This morning at 7am I went for my first real ride.  5.68 miles, fastest mile 9.0mph. So not terribly long or fast. Lots of fun though. Hopefully my crotch will stop hurting enough I can do it again tomorrow. (The seat is comfortable, I’m just not used to biking.)

It was more of a workout than I’d had in ages. I’ve been walking at least 3 miles a day, if y’all remember. I did it fast enough to get my heartbeat around 125bpm average, topping out at 142 or so. With the bike I got to about the same, but it was using very different muscles. And more of them! I wasn’t expecting to feel it in my biceps. My core is also achy, which is awesome. I need that.

I did have to double back for my helmet, having forgotten it.  I was a little shaky at first, but then it was like flying and I was in love.  I have some technique stuff I need to work on.  Besides starting and stopping more smoothly, I need to remember to pedal with the ball of my foot and not the arch.  And get better at stabilizing with one hand so I can make hand signals more easily.  But yeah, it was awesome.  Happy divorce to me!

Hey, more cyberstalking!

I got a text from my ex today, asking if I had a copy of our marriage license.  Because apparently my ex-FIL’s wife was looking for it online and couldn’t find it, and was claiming that my ex and I were never legally married.  I assume that she was looking in the wrong county; our wedding was in a different city than where we got our license, and ex was able to find it online with a quick search once she knew what county it was.

Considering that ex-FIL hasn’t spoken to his child in four years, why the hell do he and his wife care?  Do they think I can somehow go after them for alimony in the divorce?  Because I’m pretty sure that, even if I was inclined that way, you can’t sue your ex’s parents for marital assets.

So yeah, they’re stalking us again, for no valid reason, and coming to some of the weirdest conclusions, as they always did. I suspect this will only end when they die, even after the divorce goes through.  I’m not angry so much as baffled that they don’t have anything better to do…

Life changes

The Valkyrie and I are getting divorced.  It’s amicable and we’re still chatting, but we’re both very different people than the pair who married almost 11 years ago and it just hasn’t been working.  We care about each other but we’re not in love anymore.  I wish her lots of happiness.

So I’m in my hometown for good.  I’ve always loved it here.  If I ever leave again it won’t be for a very long time.  My family is here, the character of the town is wonderful, the area is lush with old trees and lots of greenery, and I should be able to get employment if I’m ever sane enough.  I think grad school is going to be out of the equation, at least for now.  Social workers don’t make enough money that I could easily carry a $22K student loan.

I intend to be single for a good long while.  It’s annoying to have my sex drive back, because I don’t want to get involved with anyone even enough for an anonymous Craigslist hookup.  Thank goodness for sex toys.  I admit that there are a couple of guys I’d have sex with, given half a chance, but one lives in Orlando and has a girlfriend, and the local one has never shown any interest in me that way.  Which is for the best.  Because human interactions are messy and I don’t want that right now.

I’m dealing with a lot of financial changes, too.  Money-related stuff under the cut, since it’s boring to everyone but me.

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