Since my last post, I went back up on my Trintellix. (Which used to be called Brintellix, but it sounded too much like some other drug — Brillenta, I think? — so they recently changed it.) I am happy to report more energy and more Getting Shit Done. In the last two days, anyway. It’s a start.
I have a skirt. It’s ankle-length and black. My sister got it for me yesterday at Target, as I’ve had the weird urge to wear one lately. I put it on with a black T-shirt and my purple Docs, and I didn’t feel even slightly feminine. Gender-bendy as fuck, instead, which is exactly what I wanted. I look transmasculine/androgynous even with the skirt on. It’s lovely. It really brings home my personal definition of genderqueer: my brain leans more towards female even though I feel gender dysphoria about my body and want it to be a cis male’s. “Gender dysphoria” is a misnomer, really. My gender is fine. I am very happy with it. It’s my body that’s wrong. So shouldn’t it be called “sex dysphoria” instead? At any rate, I want to paint my fingernails and toenails black sometime soon. And buy some boxer briefs to wear under the skirt. Thigh chafing hurts.
Hurricane Hermine: why didn’t they call it Hermione? It would have been so much cooler that way. Anyway, we lost power several times during the night, but it always came back on within ten minutes or so. My mom’s room is in the back of the apartment, and mine at the front; our rooms are the same size, as are our windows, but the placement of the rooms meant she couldn’t hear anything but rain. I, on the other hand, spent all night listening to howling winds try to break my window. It wasn’t scary, just annoying because I was trying to sleep. If it had been daytime I would have enjoyed the sounds, but by two in the morning I was ready to get out my isolation headphones. (I wasn’t the only one listening to the storm. Several of my local friends were also awake and posting on Facebook at that hour.) We weren’t damaged, our cars weren’t damaged (despite being under a giant tree), and we didn’t even lose internet for very long. A lot of locals got it worse; when I went to get my hair cut Saturday, there were women there talking about not having their power back until that morning.
And now, for some goth shopping: Joanns has these cool 16″ vulture skeletons and I want one so bad. Or the owl ones, the owl ones are badass, but more expensive. I don’t want them enough to pay $30-40 for one, but damn they’re cool.
Oh fuck, just looked at their site, to get a pic to share, and their Halloween stuff is 40% off. It can go next to the head-on-a-silver-platter, which still resides on my bedroom dresser. That really was a good idea, I think. Which reminds me, I still need wall art for my room. I should probably get that instead of the vulture, but I can buy art posters all year round. Ooh, they have a small tombstone for $4. My dresser is going to look awesome. My wallet always hates me in the fall, because ALL THE HALLOWEEN STUFF!!!
One other little DIY project I want to do is get a bendy black Halloween spider and make it a tiny bit of knitting-in-progress and bend the front legs so it looks like the spider’s knitting. I’ll give it teeny needles and everything. Maybe stick it on a black wreath for the front door. Spiders spin, and mine will knit as well. Maybe the knitting will be from that fake cobweb stuff? Oooooh.
Oh oh oh — I can buy fake black roses this time of year, too. Neeeeeed. Okay, shutting up about Halloween goodies now. But when Eris (my kleptomaniacal black kitty) starts walking around the house with a black rose in his teeth, I will totally be taking photos. (And, if they’re any good, using them as profile pictures in my online haunts.)
Knitting: the green and black shirt continues, in off moments. My main project is place mats for the dining table. They are bright yellow, in a basic basketweave pattern. When Mom and I moved into this apartment, most of her decorating stuff was blue and yellow so we stuck with it. Happily, the paintings on the walls look like Tim Burton took drugs (happy ones) and painted them. So at least a little of the living room is to my taste.
Spinning, weaving, and sewing: haven’t done any of it since the last post.
Cello: not since Monday or so. As I said, I’ve only been feeling better for two days. Mom just left for a party, though, so I’ll play while she’s gone. I feel weird about playing with her here, because I feel like it has to be annoying to hear me play the same thing over and over. Especially when it’s the same three or four notes over and over…
Okay, enough babbling. I think I need to go buy a vulture skeleton now…