Category Archives: events

Divorced and cycling

On Tuesday, Sept. 6th, 2016, at 9:15am, I became a single person again.  So, so glad.  My ex was upset because her mom, my mom, and I were chatting happily while we waited for our turn before the judge.  We were making plans to see one another, gabbing about family and stuff, and completely ignoring Ex.  My ex-MIL likes me better than she likes her own child.  I should feel bad about that, but I don’t.

The day after, I went down to the local bike shop my sister likes, Bikes and More.  I’ve been eyeing a new bike for a while now.  I had a GT Aggressor hybrid and hated it, so I didn’t ride it for years.  At the shop I ordered a 2017 Raleigh Circa 1.

Circa 1 manufacturers photo

Circa 1 manufacturers photo

I picked it up yesterday.  The salesperson took me on a short ride to test my settings.  Several adjustments later, I was good to go.  It’s weird to not have my butt on the seat when I’m stopping and starting, but I’m getting the hang of doing it the right way.

This morning at 7am I went for my first real ride.  5.68 miles, fastest mile 9.0mph. So not terribly long or fast. Lots of fun though. Hopefully my crotch will stop hurting enough I can do it again tomorrow. (The seat is comfortable, I’m just not used to biking.)

It was more of a workout than I’d had in ages. I’ve been walking at least 3 miles a day, if y’all remember. I did it fast enough to get my heartbeat around 125bpm average, topping out at 142 or so. With the bike I got to about the same, but it was using very different muscles. And more of them! I wasn’t expecting to feel it in my biceps. My core is also achy, which is awesome. I need that.

I did have to double back for my helmet, having forgotten it.  I was a little shaky at first, but then it was like flying and I was in love.  I have some technique stuff I need to work on.  Besides starting and stopping more smoothly, I need to remember to pedal with the ball of my foot and not the arch.  And get better at stabilizing with one hand so I can make hand signals more easily.  But yeah, it was awesome.  Happy divorce to me!

The new apartment

First night in the new place! I was asleep before 10pm and then woke up at midnight starving and so sore I could barely move. So I found some crackers in the pantry and took a hydrocodone I had left over from an injury this last spring.

The new apartment is brilliant. Open, airy, light… The last place we lived was a dump, which wasn’t Mom’s fault. Like, the landlord had somebody come in to fix the plumbing. Plumber left four holes in the bathroom wall, and they never fixed it. They let Mom live with a broken bedroom window for three months before they bothered fixing it. It was fucking awful. So this is worlds better. And I don’t have to share my personal space with anyone. After 11 years of marriage, and then three months of living in Mom’s storage room, this is HUGE. I also have my own bathroom, which I have decorated myself!

Right now I’m sitting up in bed with my laptop. I don’t have to worry about waking Mom up because the guest bedroom is between us so she can’t hear what I’m doing. (If I closed my bedroom door I could even play my cello without waking her, but I want to get her to stand outside my bedroom window tomorrow and tell me if she can hear me play from outside, so that I don’t accidentally piss off the neighbors. At least we’re in an end unit so I don’t share a wall with anyone.)

Half a mile north of me is a large shopping complex. On days when it’s not too hot I can walk there and have an iced coffee at Starbucks. There’s a frozen yogurt place right there too, and a nice public park behind the shopping center. The library is less than a mile off, as is my psychiatrist’s office. Oh, and my primary care doctor is less than a quarter mile from me, so I can walk there too. There’s a communal bike rack just outside my back door, and when I get my bike from my ex’s I can ride to all sorts of places from here. Since I may not have a car come January, these are good things. Oh! And the city just started a bus line down the main road, and there’s a stop at the entrance to my apartment complex.

The babbies are settling in nicely. Catching them this morning before the movers showed up was easy — jumped trapped them in my old bedroom and loaded them into the carriers.  They weren’t happy but they didn’t freak out.  I brought them to the new place and shut them in my bathroom with their litter box and water fountain.  Left them there until the movers had finished bringing everything in around 11am.  The first few hours they were freaked out, especially Eris, but as of about 6pm they were fine, and right now they’re running around the apartment like they’ve lived here for years.  They’re chasing each other right now, and I heard a stack of empty boxes fall over a few minutes ago.  Yeah, the babbies are fine.

We have a guest room!  Currently it’s about a quarter full of boxes that can be slowly unpacked.  When I get my stuff from my ex I’ll be storing some bins of yarn and wool in there.  I have six of those clear plastic 3-drawer bins from the craft store.  Two will go in my bedroom under the window, and the rest in the guest room.  It’s large enough that it won’t look cluttered.

Let’s see…  I ordered a cheap chest of drawers and a nightstand from Target online.  Starting in November I can keep my cello case in the closet because my lessons will be here at my house, so my cello can happily live on its little stand in my room.  I’ve asked for a stand for my rigid heddle loom for Christmas; it will let me angle the loom so it can be stored in the corner by my desk completely vertical (and covered with a quilt so the cats can’t play with it).  I have my Mom’s antique rolltop desk in the corner.  I’ve wanted it for decades, and when I mentioned it to Mom she said, “Oh, you should have told me you wanted it!  I would have given it to you then!”  I’m glad I didn’t get it until now, though.  I wouldn’t have had a place to put it, before.  It needs to be refinished, but I can do that at my own pace.  (Also I’m not sure how to take the varnish off the creases in the roll top itself.  Maybe I should let a pro do it next year.)

In sum, I am very happy with the move.  (You may have noticed, if you’re still reading this.)  The only downside is having to go back to the old house and sort out some small shit over the next few days.  We had the movers put a lot of furniture on the curb for the garbage collectors, but there’s a lot of little stuff that needs to be thrown out or taken to the thrift shop before next Saturday.

Oh, and here’s a picture of the best part of my room.  Once I get the new chest of drawers and nightstand I can finish unpacking the last few boxes, at which point I’ll post pictures of the whole room.

New Bedroom - Desk and Cello

Something else I’ll be getting from my ex’s: all my framed art to hang on my walls!  Yay!  And then it will be perfect.  Love.

Life changes

The Valkyrie and I are getting divorced.  It’s amicable and we’re still chatting, but we’re both very different people than the pair who married almost 11 years ago and it just hasn’t been working.  We care about each other but we’re not in love anymore.  I wish her lots of happiness.

So I’m in my hometown for good.  I’ve always loved it here.  If I ever leave again it won’t be for a very long time.  My family is here, the character of the town is wonderful, the area is lush with old trees and lots of greenery, and I should be able to get employment if I’m ever sane enough.  I think grad school is going to be out of the equation, at least for now.  Social workers don’t make enough money that I could easily carry a $22K student loan.

I intend to be single for a good long while.  It’s annoying to have my sex drive back, because I don’t want to get involved with anyone even enough for an anonymous Craigslist hookup.  Thank goodness for sex toys.  I admit that there are a couple of guys I’d have sex with, given half a chance, but one lives in Orlando and has a girlfriend, and the local one has never shown any interest in me that way.  Which is for the best.  Because human interactions are messy and I don’t want that right now.

I’m dealing with a lot of financial changes, too.  Money-related stuff under the cut, since it’s boring to everyone but me.

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Life update (including the Against Me! concert)

Against Me! was amazing.  That was Thursday night in Orlando.  The Valkyrie and the Naiad got to meet Laura Jane Grace after the show, and they were over the moon about it.  The Valkyrie got Laura to autograph her Midori cover with a Sharpie.  It’s awesome.

Other stuff that’s been going on:

I’m not going to be able to have my hysterectomy this Wednesday.  I’m sick.  Breathing hurts, my sinuses hurt…  Yeah, no surgery.  I’ll schedule it for May or so, after my semester is over.

This last Wednesday I found out that the Valkyrie didn’t know she was triggering me for all these years.  We were both horrified that I’d never told her, that she’d never known.  Talking about it made everything better.  I’m so happy.

Thursday I had lunch with my former BFF.  She wants to be friends again, saying she’d never stopped being my friend.  She just needed time to heal from the death of her cat while she was away, and that seeing me reminded her of the cat.  She doesn’t seem to understand that she could have said that to me in one sentence way back when and we could have avoided everything that happened after.  She says she’s sorry for being an asshole about it, but… I dunno.  We’ll see what happens.

Friday I attended a seminar about dealing with compassion fatigue.  It was… okay.  Not as good as I’d hoped for, and the heteronormativity of the old white cis male presenter annoyed the fuck out of me.  (Seriously, for a laugh he had talking dolls that were supposed to be the perfect girlfriend and boyfriend.  The girl said shit like, “It’s okay that you left the toilet seat up, honey.  It makes it easier for me to clean.”  The boy said things like, “Can we go cuddle and just talk?”  It was offensive as fuck.)

Saturday I ran errands and then laid around the house a bunch because my hip hurt.

Today I drove up to my mom’s house (75 miles away) to do some stuff around her house for her.  I am very annoyed that my sister can’t drive the five minutes to Mom’s house to change a freaking light bulb.  We had a nice lunch, though, and I dug through a 13 year old box that I’d left behind when my ex-boyfriend and I broke up.  There was one of his sweatshirts in there.  Now I have long-sleeved shirts belonging to two dead exes.  (The other is a jacket given to me by a girlfriend around the time she was diagnosed with a brain tumor.)  It’s… weird.  Also in that box was a forgotten and unopened gift from a friend who killed himself about five years ago.  I haven’t opened it yet.  I’m not ready.

And that’s been my week.  I’ll probably go to bed early tonight, as the Valkyrie has physical therapy in the morning…

Happy birthday, Isaac Newton!

Bad blogger, no cookie — ten days since my last entry.  Shame on me.  I’ve been journaling a lot, but it’s been on paper instead of online.

My family has always done Christmas stuff on Xmas Eve, and then Xmas day is for laying around in pajamas and nomming leftovers. So yesterday we ate too much and opened presents. I picked out most of the presents people gave each other as well as the ones I gave, so I really enjoyed seeing everyone open the gifts I’d chosen for them.  I was pretty much on target with all of them, assuming my family members are better at faking emotions than I think they are.  I received some cool shit.  A Pilot Metropolitan fountain pen, a sweet Golding mini spindle, some fascinating-looking books, and some little stuff, all of which I liked a lot.

I won’t list everything I chose for other people, but I had to mention that I got the Naiad a Pilot Kukuno from JetPens and I think she’s now hooked for life on fountain pens.  While I was napping earlier today she ordered herself a Metropolitan like my new one, because she likes mine so much.  (I am so happy with mine, btw.  Writes wonderfully and has instantly become a favorite.)  This weekend I’m going to ink up some of my pen collections so she can see what different styles and nibs feel like.  She’s very excited.  Makes me happy.

Random stuff:

  • Got a B+ in my class.  Must have done better on my mock therapy session than I thought!
  • The Naiad will be here permanently Jan. 6th.  Which is good, because driving to get her twice a week sucks.
  • Awesome Niece was here from Sunday to yesterday.  Goddamn I love that kid.  She’s turning into an amazing young woman.
  • I started a new medication today.  Risperdal is replacing my Invega.  Doing the titration now.  Wish me luck.
  • The pocket Moleskine I started journaling in on Nov. 11th is nearly full.  I’ll be starting a new one in a few days.  Looking forward to it.  I also treated myself to a Moleskine 2015 weekly planner, because things disappear from my iCloud calendar on a regular basis.  That’s a problem.  So the Moleskine will be a backup calendar. I need one.

I’ve been sleepy all day because of the new medication.  Bedtime soon, I think…

No Nerd Fest

I was going to go to the Orlando Nerd Fest and give Bunny from SPG the shawl I made her.  Didn’t happen.  The Valkyrie was in too much pain, so we stayed home.  We talked about going today instead, at least to catch her at her last autograph session and also see MC Frontalot perform.  But tickets for the day were sold out.  Tomorrow I’ll mail the shawl to Bunny and hope she likes it.

I admit, it was depressing to not get to go.  I wanted to see them in concert as well as giving the shawl in person.  But it’s okay.  The Valkyrie’s way more important to me.  She feels guilty, but I’m sure we’ll get the chance to see SPG again.  Maybe Nerd Fest next year.

The blanket for David is going to take more than the two cones of pearl cotton I bought for it.  Silly me, I thought two pounds of yarn would be enough.  This is getting expensive.  Here’s panel one, off the loom.

I’ve been kinda down and eating too much chocolate.  Maybe tomorrow will be a better day…


Pardon my vanishing act…

Awesome Niece, age 11, came to visit for a few days, so I was mostly offline.  She came down for the Lindsey Stirling concert at the Hard Rock, Orlando Universal Citywalk.  Which was awesome, but I’ll get to that.

I met my sister on Wednesday the 2nd to pick up Awesome Niece, and Sis came down with Awesome Nephew on the 4th to hang out at my house all afternoon.  So it was a short visit, but we had a lot of fun.  BFF has a friend’s 16 year old kid, M, staying with her, and the five of us (including the Valkyrie) hung out a whole lot while Awesome Niece was here.  And then Thursday night was the Stirling show.

We got to Universal at 7:00.  The line to get in was long, and it’s rainy season here in Florida so we got soaked.  We didn’t much care, though!  Our seats were in the penultimate row of the balcony, but the venue was small enough that they were still excellent seats.

The opening act, AJR, were surprisingly good.  It’s three brothers who make music in their living room.  When they came onto the stage I didn’t expect to be impressed, because I had assumed they were roadies from the way they were dressed.  But as soon as they started playing… Damn they put on a good show.  The lyrics weren’t brilliant, but the energy was fantastic and they sounded great.

Half an hour later Lindsey came out and played for 90 minutes.  Great, great show.  She danced while playing and it was impressive.  I never expected to see a crowd screaming for a violinist, but she earned it.  Lindsey did an acoustic set in the middle of two regular sets.  She talked to the audience like we were friends.  She was adorable and we all loved her.  The lighting and stage effects were cool, too.

The crowd was interesting.  It ranged from Awesome Niece’s age to senior citizens.  In fact, the crowd seemed to skew older.  It surprised me. I mean, yeah, it’s Florida, but I wouldn’t have expected that many older fans.

The one other entertaining thing worth mentioning has nothing to do with the show.  There were a lot of cute lesbians there, and Awesome Niece and I did a bit of admiring.  It was weird and hilarious to be checking out girls with an 11-year-old, but they were all in their twenties so I didn’t feel too terrible about it.  (Awesome Niece has excellent taste, for the record.)

Anyway.  As I said, Sis came down Friday, BFF and M made quiches and we all had a splendid time.  I had taught M to spin, and they did that a whole bunch.  After Sis and her kids left, the remaining four of us hung out and played Saints Row 4 because M hadn’t had the chance to play yet.  Everyone was tired and I wound up going to bed about ten, after our guests had left.

Yesterday I did nothing but sleep and play with my weaving loom.  It was nice.  I love having company, but I was exhausted.  The Valkyrie isn’t feeling well because I forgot to pick up her pain pills and progesterone on Thursday, and the pharmacy is closed on weekends.  I feel awful about it.  I didn’t pick up my antidepressants, either, so I’m feeling weird myself.  Stupid of me.

Oh, kitten update: they sleep on top of us all the time.  Tomorrow we’ll let them out of the bedroom so they can have the whole upstairs to run around in, but first I have to hide my yarn and fiber…