Last week I babysat for my sister’s kids, and Sis got back later than expected so my lesson was canceled. So tonight was the first one I’ve had in two weeks.
Sometime last week something clicked in my head and suddenly I sound a million times better. I’m not good, but I don’t suck horrifically and on very short simple pieces I actually sound like I know what I’m doing. It’s amazing. At lesson tonight my teacher was shocked at the difference. Yeah, I still fuck up a lot — a lot — but I sound like an amateur cellist fucking up, as opposed to some idiot scraping away at a beautiful instrument. It’s like magic. So the lesson was really high-energy and encouraging. I have lots of new things to practice.
I get to use the G string in a piece for the first time, on “Long, Long Ago” (Suzuki #1-10). All pieces thus far were on D and A only. And my teacher’s having me play it with a weird bowing technique, so it’s challenging. I have to learn another piece by heart, the “Allegro” (#1-8), which I can play already with sheet music, but Teacher says I need to stop paying so much attention to the written music. I need to practice a variation of “Perpetual Motion in D Major” (#1-9). And I have to learn two more (short) etudes. And all this by Tuesday, if I can manage it!
The last two weeks have sucked horribly, for reasons I’ll write about later, so it feels really good to have accomplished something and impressed my teacher and have doable challenges to focus on, instead of stressing over school so bad that I’ve been hallucinating and having panic attacks. (Today I was able to get an Incomplete for the semester, so I can take a couple of days to breathe before diving back into homework.)