My last blog post was 10 days ago. There’s a reason. I was so depressed that I didn’t even pick up my laptop for a week. Considering that half my life involves my computer in some way, this was fucking awful. I literally spent hours staring at the floor, doing nothing, locked in my own head and unable to come out. I haven’t been that bad in years.
The good news, I guess, is that it was a gray fog of depression and not the active despair of my normal kind. I didn’t want to kill myself. I wasn’t sad or hurting. I was just numb and disconnected from reality. It sucked, but at least I wasn’t experiencing the usual emotional turmoil.
Friday I saw my pdoc and started titrating to Geodon. Yesterday I started feeling like a normal person again. It’s been really nice. The fog is lifted and I’m starting to engage with the world again. So fuck Fanapt. Let’s all hope the Geodon works.