I’ve been struggling with a deep and persistent depression as of late. I have brief periods where I feel a little better, but mostly I don’t give a fuck about anything including myself. I would quit taking my meds entirely if the Valkyrie didn’t make me. I’ve given up. I don’t care anymore.
My therapist and the Valkyrie think I should try a low dose of testosterone. I’ve been resistant to the idea, but apparently low doses can be helpful for dealing with dysphoria (including dysphoria-caused depression) without me turning into Buck Angel. Therapist has had some trans clients go on small doses to achieve androgyny, which appeals to me. I’ve always wanted to be on the masculine side of androgynous in the way I look. So maybe that could work.
If it doesn’t work, T only lasts 8 days in the body, so if I went off it I’d be back to my former self in a week. So the risk isn’t too terrible. I’m nervous as fuck, but it seems like a reasonable option and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little excited.
I wanted to make the appointment today, but the doctor’s office closes early on Fridays. So I’ll call Monday morning. I’ll actually be at her office Wednesday with the Valkyrie, so maybe I’ll ask her to just send in the prescription — we’d already done an HRT consultation a couple of months ago, and she should still have my therapist letter on file. Wish me luck.