I’m lactating. Left tit only. I think it’s because I accidentally went off my thyroid meds for a few days. Antipsychotics can cause lactation, and I’ve had that problem before (on Risperdal), but it hasn’t happened since I went on thyroid meds. It’s strange enough on its own, but add in gender dysphoria and… ugh.
This inspired me to write about two things: breasts, and thyroid. Thyroid first, because it’s shorter.
What happened with my thyroid pills: Every Sunday I fill up a 7-day pill case. I didn’t have enough levothyroxine for the whole week, so I called my pharmacy. I had no refills, but they said they’d call the doctor. And then Tuesday was the Valkyrie’s surgery, and I just forgot until the weekend. And I slept most of the weekend. And most of yesterday. And until 2pm today. The Valkyrie got angry when I told her I was out, which is reasonable. She sent me off to the pharmacy and I got four pills, enough to last me until the doctor appointment I made for Thursday. I took one, which may explain why I’m wide awake and have been Getting Shit Done: cleaning, doing a ton off my to-do list, and even cleaning out my email in-box. Woo!
Now, for the less fun topic: boobs. And sex. Two things that go great together for most people who aren’t gay dudes, unless you’re transmasculine and desperately want top surgery. I had to touch my left nipple to check out the lactation, and it reminded me of the last time I deliberately handled my tits for any length of time.
If you don’t want to know anything about my sex life, stop reading here.
About a year and a half ago I took up with a cute little submissive boy who lived in Canada. It was Skype-only, and it was fun in the beginning, but… He was bi. And I believed he thought of me as a guy. But when we fooled around on camera I wound up playing the female role, and touching myself as if I liked my girl parts. I wasn’t doing it for fun, I wanted to turn him on. And that’s part of why I broke it off. I don’t know how to sexually relate to men as a non-female person, and trying really upset me. Relating to women is pretty easy. It’s frustrating, though, because I’m attracted to men too, and a lot of my fantasies involve cis guys (well, cis guy bodies, anyway; I don’t usually fantasize about particular people). It would be nice to have a fuck buddy or casual boyfriend, but he would have to be very, very understanding, and be willing to help me figure out exactly what I want. Just thinking about it feels weird, even though I like dick. Maybe someday…