Navel-gazing: labels

It seems like in the last year I’ve started to move away from labeling myself.  There are things I am, like “atheist”, but I don’t define myself by them anymore.  I’m just… me.  Which is weird, since I spent so long looking for a definition that fit me.  Maybe I’m finally becoming comfortable enough with myself that fitting into a group isn’t as important. I have friends and family who accept me.  I don’t seem to need any more than that at this stage of my life.

What brought this up was emailing with a new friend about there being a new geek/gaming pub in Orlando, called the Cloak & Blaster.  I told her I’m interesting in going because of their craft beer selection and lack of dudebros.  I don’t really game, and I don’t consider myself a geek anymore.  I’m not involved with any fandoms, I’m not into SF/fantasy, and I don’t work with computers anymore.  I still read some comic books but I don’t geek out over them like I used to.

I know people who talk proudly about how “weird” they are.  Maybe I’m jaded, but I don’t think of people as being weird.  Everybody’s different to one degree or another.  Normal doesn’t exist.  What’s normal for me might not be normal for someone else.  So I get really annoyed at people who feel the need to point out their supposed weirdness.  It’s probably just me and not them.  If it makes them feel better to remind people how different they are, I’m not going to stop them.  I’ll just continue to silently roll my eyes and move on.

I’m tired…

3 thoughts on “Navel-gazing: labels

  1. Pingback: Weirdness | transknition

  2. Shira

    Just seeing this now because you linked to it recently–

    >> So I get really annoyed at people who feel the need to point out their supposed weirdness. It’s probably just me and not them. If it makes them feel better to remind people how different they are, I’m not going to stop them.

    Just from personal experience, if I ever overtly call myself weird, it’s from self-consciousness. So, yes, it’s to make myself feel better, but it’s not about reminding the other person; it’s about acknowledging “YES, I’m strange” so the person I’m interacting with knows I already know I’m different and don’t have to be cruelly reminded myself. (So many of them are all too ready.) Kind of like how my mother would start every school year making fun of her own age so the kids wouldn’t, or how any time I show the results of my art lessons to someone (I am still very much a beginner in the suck stages) I have to say a million times how they aren’t very good yet because I know that if I don’t, they’ll remind me that they look like shit.

    In other words, if there’s something I’m self-conscious as hell about, I try to draw attention to it right away so that it can be dismissed and not used against me.

    I should try to not be so self-conscious and just own any peculiarities my brain chooses to throw at me. Maybe that gift will come as I age.

    Reply
  3. alex

    Shira, I’m just now replying to this because for some reason I didn’t see the email until now. I’d never thought about it from a self-consciousness angle before. I wonder if that’s true for most people who describe themselves thusly. Thanks for giving me something to think about. ((hugs))

    Reply

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