Queer polyamory

Ten years ago when the Valkyrie (my wife) and I got together, I was seriously into polyamory.  I was seeing her and a boytoy both for a while, but V’s and my relationship was too new and she’d never been poly before.  So we were monogamous for years, happily so.

Things started changing about the time she realized she was trans.  In the last two years she’s had online relationships with a few women, and is currently seriously involved with two women and has a FWB thing with a third.  She’s so happy and giddy that I’m glad she has these other relationships.  Part of it is a self-esteem thing, I think.  As in, she never had any, and thought that maybe I was a fluke.  But when you’ve got four people all wanting to be with you, well… she’s outvoted on whether or not she’s wonderful.  I hate that her father made her feel so bad for so many years, that she doesn’t realize how special and beautiful she is.  But maybe her girlfriends and I can convince her otherwise.

Last night I dreamt that she left me to live in a trans feminist lesbian commune.  I had to laugh at myself when I woke up.  Yeah, okay, sometimes I get a little insecure.  Not a lot insecure, but it’s hard to have a spouse who identifies as lesbian when I’m not a woman myself.  She’s become this wonderful activist and I’m so proud of her, but there are parts of her life I’m not part of.  I get a little wistful for the days when we could share everything.  But seeing her so happy is worth it.  I love her so much, and I love the glow she has when she talks about her girlfriends.  Happiness is beautiful

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